It Is Done, Part Two

There was all the usual stuff - foreplay, yada yada. This time, I knew I had to. I was unsure, nervous. Memories of the previous encounters flashed before me. Will I lose it again? Was I even sure I was ready? He’s probably going to think I don’t know what the fuck I was doing. Fuck it. No, literally. Fuck it. Go you useless twat. Do it.

So on it went. Snap. The key was in the ignition. Engine started. Drive, drive, drive. Drive, drove, driven indeed. I reached the end of the road and stepped on the gas, but the engine was dead. That’s it, I thought. I’m an embarrassment to mankind - once again.

*fades to black*

Yet somehow - for some stroke of good fortune - we had another satisfied customer. The test drive was a success. For him at least, I sure wasn’t. Driving’s overrated. Media killed it, I thought to myself smoking my victory stick.

Well, at least I got the cardio.