Amidst The Antlers

Do you know how much it hurts me when you say such things? In such demeaning ways? Do you know how much it hurts me? It angers me? Nope, I don’t think you’ll ever know.

You think you’re hurt - I know you are - but do you know how much it hurts me as well? You think I don’t want you to know? I want everyday to tell you so much, but I fear your disapproval, I fear your resentment, I fear your rejection. I fear you. 

I blame myself sometimes for not being the son you wanted. I blame myself for not educating you enough about life. I blame myself for your ignorance.

I blame myself.
For you - and what you have become.